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Dec 28, 2012 12:00am PST
. the holidays are upon us and won't get off us. we're exactly two weeks away from christmas right now. it's time to start practicing your pretending to like a gift face. christmas is a major operation for me. i buy hundreds of gifts and i buy them all myself. people think i have an assistant. i do but he doesn't do anything for me. he does some things for me, believe me. but he's having a baby. i went to costco this weekend. it was a two-cart weekend for costco. people were asking if i worked there. i move things like i'm one of the employees. leaving costco my truck was packed so tightly i couldn't see out of the windows. i could see out of the front and 1/18 out of the window in the back and the truck was almost completely packed with alcohol. it was. [ cheers and applause ] something -- if someone had rear ended me i wouldn't have been arrested for a dui. i would have drowned. and now i have to wrap -- you don't have to wrap alcohol, do you? i bought sweaters to put around the bottles. i'm a terrible gift wrappers. i'm good at a lot of things, sex obviously. i can cook. i draw. i know how to
Dec 21, 2012 1:40am PST
, in fact, could be the last day on earth. at least for those of us two aren't in an underground bunker somewhere. what better way to end it by looking at some of our favorite end of the world movies. i'm going way back to the lesser known file, 1998, "deep impact." the premise is nothing spectacular here. there's a meteor on a collision course with earth, everybody is freaking out. when it does actually hit and do extraordinary damage, really great special effects in that. at least for that time. it was about people pondering their future and dreams with this incredible event about to impact earth. take a listen. >> we honor them with every brick we lay, with every field we sow, with every child we comfort and then rejoice in what we have been re-given. our planet. our home. >> and in the background, you see the burned out white house. which is pretty dramatic. that's one of my favorites. and you have two that you like. >> i couldn't decide which was my favorite, so i picked two. first up "independence day" with will smith. 1996 it came out and aliens come and invade the earth and blow
Search Results 0 to 1 of about 2